I think everyone has the inner desire to prove them selves better than others. What ever the culture; what ever the color of our skin, it’s the basic nature of human kind. In every society there are class differences according to the financial status. Even between the close relatives there are comparisons with their possessions and achievements. Is it all because of our inner motive to prove ourselves better than others?.
I guess we all face insult from those who think they are better than our selves(I play soccer well, Look at my dress, I am smarter than you, We are richer than you…)in life at some point. But usually we avoid those who brag too much about them selves.
Once I get to this country I faced a different kind of people. Their behviour which shook the core of my personality. I was in the edge of believing that I am worth less. I couldn’t come out with an answer to all the questions and doubts in my mind?. All the traditional common values seem equal with the other people out there who make me feel inferior with their actions and speeches.
Are their parents richer?, Any racial differences?, Are they well educated?, Isn’t our family habit and manner not good?. Are they smarter?, Am I lacking in any skill?. Are their family invited here by the Canadian prime minister?. No we are all same from a same community who came as refugees to this country to escape a brutal war. Nothing special in us as a whole we are same, then why these people behave like this?.
All came to light when I heard this “Those guys are FOBs?”. I researched what is FOB. Here is the wikipedia definition for FOB.
In the article it clearly says about the offensive part:
The term “FOB” has been used with offensive intent, often to those with a foreign accent or ethnic style of dressing. Depending on the person’s attitude to the culture in question, he or she may or may not take offense at these statements. The term may also be used by people who themselves were immigrants years ago, in a way turning the insult once hurled at them onto the new arrivals, and in so doing emphasizing their own progress in assimilation or improved language skills.
Compared to world poverty, Iraq invasion, AIDS and terrorism it is not a big issue, but I know youngsters who confused them selves about their goals and purpose of their life by this kind of peer pressure. For those who come to this country in their teen age it is a real problem. But it’s all in our attitude. Other people cannot make us better or worse.
If a person who came to US in his 21st with little English can become the (Arnold Schwarzenegger)Governor of California why we can’t do more.
We can’t say being proud of one self is not good. We can be proud of our achievements. I believe that being different is one of the driving force behind some of the people’s success. But I don’t understand the concept of making others feel bad because they are newer to the place. The big stone sitting in front of my house which stays longer in Canada more than I do.
May 2nd, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Very well seen! May I take the liberty to translate this to a Tamil magazine, with your name?
May 2nd, 2007 at 2:30 pm
Well written article with appropriate emotional feelings bound to it. I really like the sentence where you have said “The big stone sitting in front of my house which stays longer in Canada more than I do”. Keep up the good work. The thing that we all should know is that only Youngsters use this kind of demeaning word FOB, because those are the people who are going through identity crisis.
In order to prevent this cultural confusion, every parent should teach his/her child what is culture, what kind of behaviour is acceptable in a normal population and things like that.
In some families, as you mentioned, even parents are busy comparing themselves with other relatives and etc. In some families parents are busy watching mega serials (TV programs), so they never gonna get a chance to correct their children. When a child speaks in English, mother thinks that WOW…my child is speaking a language that I can’t even understand. My child is a Genius. They are forgetting to realize that learning and teaching a mother language to the child will elaborate its understanding of the world and the child also would develop other cultural practices.
May 2nd, 2007 at 8:04 pm
Very good shot, Sheae.
Keep it up.
May 3rd, 2007 at 8:53 am
Well said . I experienced the same.
Coming from a reputed and respected background,
having my own folks behaving as FOB made me suffer a lot. From the dress I wear, the kitchen wear I use, the piece of furniture I use every thing went under their criticism. I did an analysis to make sure,whether they are hipocrates or me my self is low in every thing.Whenever people questioned of materials, Canadian bought turned into Srilankan bought and the Srilankan things wise versa. As I expected their perception was different of a Srilankan product,if they think it is an Canadian product. People should understand the imporatance of providing moral support for the new comers.
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:02 am
hey..I’ve encountered the feelings that you have in your heart. The term FOB, according to me, doesn’t make sense. Why? Because, for those people classifed as FOB, according to them they are not FOB, because they are continuing their culture, tradition, dressing styles, from where ever they came from. So, from their point of view those who they see in the new territory are the FOBs. Are they not? This anology is similar to the one where the prisioner see the world to be in prison and the world sees them like wise.
“Other people cannot make us better or worse”
If everyone of us can think like this, world would be a much better place to live. Much of our life is wasted upon thinking about what others might think of our actions and thoughts.
Very well done. Your thoughts were carried out well. Keep on posting…